Hello. This is me, Harriet. That’s my son, Johnny, and the other one’s the Hub.
Why do we look so happy? Well, it’s his second birthday. It’s also twelve days before the start of a brand new year: 2013. And just six days before Christmas. Oh, and unbeknownst to us, one day before this email dropped into my account and turned everything a bit upside down:
So that’s how we came to look at our bank account, our routines, the insides of our fridge, wardrobes and toy box… and realise that we were being taken for a ride that had started on the day we discovered I was pregnant.
That £400 buggy with cappuccino holder that everyone in our NCT class had nervously queued up to shelled our for… Did it make Johnny’s colic any less earsplitting? Had it made us or him any happier? Most of all: did I want him to learn that his happiness depended on this mountain of accumulated crap?
We looked into it and the statistics looked kind of… embarrassing. Average annual cost of a child rises to £8,307! screamed headlines in 2012. A typical baby owns 56 outfits worth £327… 13 million toys in landfill every year… Infant ready meal market growing by 23% year on year…
Grown-ups, give yourself a slap and ask yourself: when did we become so dependent on all this spending and all this crap to raise our kids? And isn’t lots of it, really, getting in the way of the real job: just… you know… interacting with them ourselves?
What does it all teach them, after all? According to UNICEF, British kids are the most unhappy in the western world. Do we want them to learn that maxing out credit cards and keeping up with trends is the meaning of life? Does that sound like a reliable strategy for making them happier?
This blog is the story of my attempt to stick to the new year’s resolution we then made: to try to raise a child for a year without spending ANY money (but having just as much fun).
Will 2013 be the year we said “No” to the Ocado lorries full of tiny smoothies apparently blended with flecks of organic gold and rice cakes at double the price because they are half the size… and all ate the same meals as a family?
The year we told soft play centres where to stick their germ-smeared ball ponds and made our own fun at home with friends?
The year we realised he didn’t ‘need’ yet another tractor, or a scooter, or a toddler iPad. What he needed was the space and help to use and develop his imagination. And to do that, he didn’t require this season’s Baby Gap. He required, basically, to be warm and dry in hand-me-downs to explore the (still, for the moment, free) world around him.
The year, in essence, that we asked ourselves the big question: Can we raise one small child without the help of an army of big corporations? And realised that the answer was…. Um, durrrr.
Some of our mothers did it. Most of their mothers did. Mothers all over the rest of the world are doing it right now.
Yes we can, ladies, yes we can.
(At least I think we can. I hope we can. Can we? Oh god, this is going to be hard work, isn’t it?)
Brilliant idea! We vetoed kids specific food fairly quickly when we realised the impact it made on our weekly shop – bloody waste of money.
How about a clothes/toy swap play date with kids in J’s age group? Might help out with the shoe dilemma?
Can’t wait to follow your journey and see how you all get on. Good luck! X
Looking forward to seeing how you do (and stealing some ideas).
PS: You’re a brave woman to give up disposable nappies.
I had 3 kids in nappies so real soft ones not scratchy paper ones was a no brainer. The key for me was using disposable/flushable liners (gets rid of most of the nasties) and not being too rigid. I used disposables at night and sometimes when out and about. But even if I did an odd week or disposables I reckon I still saved a lot of money. They preferred the softness too. Good luck, let common sense and humour prevail and you’ll be fine x
Great! What brand did you use? Got to take the plunge this week… Ugggg….
Brilliant idea. Brave and sensible rules.
Thought on your shoe problem, we found freecycle and similar, good as other parents find the old shoe mountain needs a good home. (If its a boy, we still have a shoe mountain age 0 -3 to give away).
Definitely keen to use freecycle to the max. Worry about shoes though – aren’t they the one thing you’re supposed to buy new? Investigation underway…
Hi Hattie!
In that case we are more than happy to ship some over or bring next time we are in London (February) xxx
I love your project! Is it ok with the rules to accept gifts? Such as almost never worn shoes for a 2 year old?
Our kids are all in their twenties now but already things are changing. Some of our contemporaries are already grandparents and they have no problem with sourcing second hand toys and books for their grandchildren. Having been parents themselves they know that we waste fortunes on buying new stuff for kids when old stuff would be just as much appreciated.
Good luck! Here’s some tips from our own experience:
- Hand me downs are marvellous. Find a friend/neighbour with a kid slightly larger than your own – our youngest has hardly ever worn anything new and he’s not bothered. A lot of people can’t be bothered or don’t have time to take their old stuff to the charity shop. Find another friend/neighbour who wants your unwanted/used stuff and pass on the love. Shoes….hmm, well we bought some once they were 3 but younger than that….I’m sure secondhand is OK. In the summer it’s sandals/crocs/bare feet anyway.
- Save every milkbottle top, loo roll, Christmas card, scrap of cardboard, pine cone for a big craft box. All you’ll need is some PVA glue (which you’ll need round the house anyway) and that’s hours of fun making collages, decorations, sculptures, birthday cards for friends etc.
- If you have a party, don’t bother with buying overpriced gift bag rubbish. Send each kid home with a cake (another great idea is a couple of conkers, already strung with handwritten instructions – stole this idea from a neighbour). Actually you don’t have to do gift bags at all!
- Use the great outdoors. Grow vegetables and let him help/eat them from the plant. Get muddy. Collect sticks (play Poohsticks). Local parks are fab but also look out for those hidden places where blackberries grow and proper puddles exist. Don’t worry about mess- he’s wearing handmedowns anyway!
- Cook what *you* like (even curries, chili etc. are fine if you don’t make it too hot) and freeze little portions for him. We do this a lot and it means they get home cooked hot food every day. Takeaway containers/yoghurt pots etc. can be re-used for this. Bake bread, make cakes (also great gifts). The earlier they get to cook the more they’ll like it later I reckon. Ours drink water (juice at breakfast) which saves a lot in terms of packaged kids drinks (which are also full of sugar).
- Sell your decent, expensive when bought stuff on eBay/local sales – use the profits to buy things from charity shops/eBay/local sales. That way he gets *some* new toys without any net spend!
- Most importantly realise that not everyone you’ll know will be able to do all this: we have people who buy their kids new clothes cos they can’t bear the thought of them wearing secondhand or who use packaged kids food cos they can’t cook or are too busy; that’s their choice and good luck to them.
Hope this helps.
Charlie (not a lady)
It helps hugely! Thanks Charlie-not-a-lady!
Good luck and a good project! We weren’t quite so hardcore but would be more so if we have a second child (not least because of the vast mountain of still usable clothes sitting in our loft even after having given lots away to friends and disposing of the too tatty). I’m not sure about switching to washable nappies as washing has a cost (in time and also energy – IIRC the energy cost of washing pretty much brings reusables back on par with disposables, albeit without the landfill, or convenience).
Before walking age I don’t think there’s much point in shoes other than as warm foot covering when out but when my son learned to walk there was a noticeable difference in his comfort and stability when wearing well fitted, durable shoes/sandals compared to hand me downs which weren’t necessarily correct for width. However, if our son’s feet grew as fast as some kids we know, the horror of spending £50 on a pair of shoes every couple of months would encourage compromise!
What’s your stance on books? Libraries are great but I think it is worthwhile to have quite a lot of “owned” books (we’re lucky to have an excellent Oxfam bookshop nearby) as young children reread books a lot. They also get lost/damaged so that the late/replacement fees from the library can make borrowing a false economy!
Late fees? Our library makes no charges on children’s borrowing or late returns, where do you live that does? Honestly the library is best for the group activities and events they host free of charge.
Agree on books. But looking around on local swap sites I think we can get loads for free. At least, I hope so!
Washing Cloth Nappies is estimated to cost £30-£50 pa depending on the rating of your machine. This only eats a tiny fraction into the cost saving of cloth over disposables. There are also numerous other benefits such as earlier potty training (making it an even larger cost saving), cooler nappy temperature, up to 40% lower carbon footprint than disposables, no chemicals in them, cloth is more reliable than disposables so no more poo up the back of the neck and much softer. Would you like to permanently wear paper pants or nice cotton ones! find more on the cloth v disposable nappy debate (both sides) on my website here http://www.thenappylady.co.uk/articleGallery.asp?categoryID=16
Hi Hattie! Good luck with all this.
I know you’ve said stay at home activities, but what about all the free museums? Does travel there count as a cost? xx
Hi! No, I think travel to museums is ok. I have a travel card, so wouldn’t cost any extra. We’ll be spending a LOT of time in the science museum!
Erm, wow!
What an inspiration! I always admire anyone who picks themselves up, dusts themselves down and comes up with a plan when they’re face with something life changing. I can’t wait to read about how you get on. Wishing you so much luck xx
Kate @Just Pirouette and Carry On…
Good on you! for going against society pressures! its not as hard as you think. I find others who love to waste think its a problem. I sometimes hide my love for hand me downs and charity shopping but why should we after all we’re doing the right thing. As long as we don’t give a sh*t to what others think then Yes we can do it!!!
Holy cow, I’m so glad I found you through Charlotte at ‘I’m only saying what you’re thinking’. I want to leap onto that band wagon with you right now. Although I may have to adjust some rules regarding travelling expenses etc… Otherwise I’m all for it. I’m so guilty when it come to buying clothes for my boy who has also just turned two. Too many fancy blogs/IG pictures with the latest things I feel I ought to own when really it doesn’t matter. AT. ALL. I’m on it, it’ll do us no end of good money wise, it’ll be cathartic…. in fact if it is ok I want to do my own post on it and credit you of course with the original plan….
Oh and re-usables, we are already onto it, it is fine I promise, but we have been doing it since he was 9 weeks so we are old hat. With any luck you won’t have to for long if you do potty training soon, or you could allow yourselves a small purchase of flushable nappy liners which we use which means the worst of the poop gets dropped down the loo. Your washing machine will thank you for it too…
Can’t wait to see how you get on!
All best wishes,
Sarah
http://sarahillustrator.blogspot.co.uk/
Sarah I read you blog ALL the time! What nappy brand do you use? And if you fancy linking up for some Free Kids Crew activities, let me know!
We had no choice when we realised only one of us could work: I stay home now and try to slowly teach every aspect of life to our lovely infant son. Having moved and not yet connected the cooker, we are still buying dinners but otherwise every purchase is carefully considered. Disposable nappies regularly from Amazon save time and money, we’re never doing it like my mother had to! He needed shoes to keep his feet flat as he starts walking and I was stunned to find they cost more than mine (I used to spend a lot on my shoes but now I just can’t so reality has taught me a hard lesson). On the easy side we have wonderful friends who treat our kids like close family: we bought almost no clothing for the first year (though we do now), we were given a fabulous pram/pushchair system worth a small fortune and two sizes of car seat, who cares if they were used before? A whole chain of friends and friends of friends sent clothes and toys in the first year and we buy few as he grows because he grows past things so fast. I genuinely believe he values and enjoys his toys more because he does not have too many (plenty to occupy his time though). Our closest friend donated hundreds of books that will last him for years and there’s an excellent library in town.
We attend the local playgroup once a week as well as the library for nursery rhyme singing, the children’s centre weekly buggy walk, and swimming lessons which are the only real expense. We go at least one day each week window shopping in town and we count (anything we see), spot buses and aeroplanes, birds and dogs and walk as much as possible.
Everyone who meets him says he is the happiest baby they know, I don’t know how we could spend much more on him and if we did I doubt he’d notice or benefit in any way. We obviously had more money when I was working and holidays are going to be difficult but then everything changes as soon as a baby arrives.
by the way I don’t believe in 2nd hand shoes – my mum now has bunions from 2nd hand children’s shoes. So I definitely won’t go that far. But I love a good bargain and found clarks outlet stores have some great bargain children shoes and you know they’re good quality. Looking forward to following your journey
Happy bargain and free hunting – it sure does give you a buzz once you get started!
This is awesome good for you. I know parents of babies and toddlers that spend a fortune on every article of clothing from Next and Gap when they grow out of them in a few months and baby yoga, baby ballet, music awareness and every toy they see. I also know sensible parents that keep their kids warm and happy with hand me downs that they actively look forward to growing into and supermarket own clothes, and entertained with crafts at home, cooking with mum and dad, visits to the park and to feed the ducks and the occasional treat. The kids are all equally happy, and if anything the ones that have to use their imagination with toys and games develop faster and say ‘I’m boooooooooored’ a whole lot less. Good on ya and have fun.
Good luck with this, you sound determined and I will be following you along your journey to see what I can learn too.
Many of the clothes I’ve got for my children over the last four-five years have come as hand me downs, charity shop or from work in the sale or waiting until there is a promotion on to combine with the staff discount . You might beable to become a networked blogger for one of the big clothes stores?
I used reusable nappies for both my girls – bucket smell not nice but was cheaper than the disposables.
I did not buy baby food, but do buy the plastic cheese, though I wait till it is on promotion.
Shoes are a difficult one, hand me downs may do but feet are important to make sure they grow correctly. Clarks I think are expensive as sometimes kids go through growth spurts, but I find they last very well wear and tear wise. Compared to much cheaper shoes (take some I bought for 4.99 2 days before Christmas as a spare pair – front already coming away – unimpressed to say the least!) Clarks are certainly worth shelling out for.
On shoes, one thought: indoors (and outdoors in summer) let your boy go shoeless as much as possible/safe, and use sandals as much as possible when footwear is required. His feet will develop thicker, cushioned soles, and his toes will learn to splay out and give him better control and balance.
Good luck! We moved from London to rural France a couple of years ago – no such thing as a bugaboo here – I actually stopped using mine as it seemed a bit OTT. Hand-me-downs and second hand stuff is completely normal for everybody (which does make it easier) – and there isn’t much more to do with the kids at the weekend than go outside or do a bit of craft!! They LOVE it! I can honestly say I am a different person – more content and less highly strung… I think what you are doing is a great way of turning a negative to a positive and I’m sure that you will never look back. ‘Stuff’ certainly has a short shelf life as a comforter… once it is gone (from your life) – it is really is gone (you won’t want it back!) Wee heeee!! Have fun!
Sharon, I am so interested in your experience – you just described what I long to do! Is there any way I could pick your brain about our move and way of life? If not that’s totally understood but if so please could you email me at laura_pryce@hotmail.com thanks so much,
Laura
Hi Hattie, This is such a brilliant idea. It is mad how much we feel like we need to buy. My daughter was born four weeks early and we had nothing (except the buggy) and we totally managed without a lot of paraphernalia that I probably would have bought up in the last weeks of pregnancy. I sometimes think it’s a bit about control, we all want to feel like we are ‘in control’ and we know what we are doing – and being prepared with ‘stuff’ is somehow comforting, it gives us a feeling of control.
On a more practical note, we have a fara charity shop near us which often has hardly-worn kids shoes, I think it’s ok to have second hand shoes personally… (and I think bunions are hereditary?), it is nice to own books, but again you can get great quality second hand books – plus reading the comments has reminded me how much I like taking my kids to the library – which also has good free singing groups. I think you’re going to have a great adventure and I’m looking forward to following you on it.
Oh – and just before xmas I did a audit of the toys my kids actually play with (I wrote it up on my blog too) and it really was not very much at all. My nearly two year old’s favourite thing to do is get a saucepan, a wooden spoon and mess around with dry pasta, which I also vaguely remember doing too.
Good Luck!
Alexis
http://www.somethingimade.co.uk
What will you do about toothbrushes and toothpaste!? I don’t see why kids have to have mini toothbrushes, but they do like eating toothpaste…
Yes, this is a problem… Shampoo too. Are they just a marketing ploy, or are kids shampoos really different? I’ve got an interview in the pipeline. We’ll find out!
I use ‘normal’ shampoo and soap on my kids… thrilling fact!
i reckon toothbrushes are ok to be. you might need a necessity list… we have this make of toothbrush http://www.yourecostore.co.uk/product/20/69602/Monte-Bianco-Junior-Soft-Toothbrush-Eco-friendly.html and it is great because you just replace the heads. less waste, cheaper…. We have the adult size too. Geeks.
Hello, after reading this amazing paragraph i am as well cheerful to share my experience here with mates.
It CAN be done. I know, because I’ve done it a lot. 2 children, now almost 4 and 6. Clothing, hand-me-downs including shoes came out of the woodwork. It’s only now that I’ve had to buy a couple of pairs of pants for my almost 4 year old. Yep, we do hand-me downs in a big way. He is the 6th child in a row, and then they get passed on again. My little girl is harder to get hand-me-downs for, but 80% of her school uniform is hand-me-down, or second hand. Yep, even school shoes today.
Kids toothpaste we buy, but it is amazing how many free samples you can get through kinder and child expos. It has a lower fluride level and is actually designed for kids. I guess if you were super frugal you could always just use a tiny bit, and wash some water over the full strength stuff. There are also plenty of toothpaste recipes.
Nappies, I became a consultant for babybeehind nappies here in Australia. I brought my kids new nappies, with my commission and discount. Even with two children and a 5kg washing machine that is 13 years old, it hasn’t killed me. Toys? Toy library. Just returned a car load of toys today! Swap over to new ones every two weeks. Easy as. Pencils/ Craft Stuff = Competitions & Kids craft clubs. Brand name stationary stuff usually has a kids club and you can win some competitions, just by doing their free activities. Shampoo and conditioner? Completely unnecessary especially when the kids are boys or have short hair. Just use a bar of pure soap, for their body and hair. Then, if you have girls don’t fall for the buying de tangler trick. Just plop some conditioner in a bottle, add water and spray on hair and brush it through. Works for many a mum
The food is a no brainer, you can do it. Kids don’t need special food. Check out baby lead weening, it’s an interesting way to start kids on solids that are family foods.
Best of luck Hattie. Take care enjoy the journey.
I agree completely. We got two free samples of Milk Teeth toothpaste at a baby expo when I was pregnant and we are still on the first tube.
And we love our toy library. It helps not only because we don’t have to spend a lot of money on toys but since we are limited on space we can sometimes get a big toy but it goes back to the toy library after a month so it doesn’t cause major clutter. 
Looking forward to reading all about it. Please don’t neglect the bigger picture – the ethics, politics and wider insights – all just as interesting as the practical and lifestyle stuff. Good luck with it!
What a brilliant idea – best of luck with it x
I don’t have children yet but when I do I hope to show my soon to be husband that having babies doesn’t have to be expensive. I grew up in a low income family and know firsthand that cloth nappies and second-hand/hand-me-down clothes and toys never hurt anyone. Also very careful not to get drawn in by advertising for ‘must-have’ items because a background in childcare has shown me how few things children really need.
As a proud mum of a 18 month old girl who has to date cost us less then £1,000 (we actually worked it out the other day) I am happy to tell you that it is possible. We did it through Baby Led Weaning, reusable nappies, buying used and hunting for free things on sites like freecycle. We have been in reusables since day one so while I don’t have much advice about getting use to the change I would just encourage you that it isn’t as hard as your mind might tell you it is. You will get yourself in a routine and who knows you might be like me and end up preferring it. I want to reiterate what people have already told you about freecycle. We have gotten large bundles of clothes, shoes, and even toys. Call me a bad mum if you want but we only spend £5 on a DVD for my daughter’s Christmas. But we got her a kitchen and a scooter from freecyle in amazing condition and she loves them. So who care that we didn’t pay money for it.
She is too young to know the difference. I would even encourage you to go on freecycle and post wanted ads for things you need. You might be surprised what people give away and in what condition. We received a cot bed, a changing table, a wardrobe and tons of other things for when she was a baby some of which we never used and re-freecycled out to other families. That isn’t to mention the things we have gotten for ourselves. Heck I got a wonderful bundle of really cute clothes for me from one lady. We also received an extra bundle of reusable nappies from a mum who decided after she bought a new bundle that she didn’t want to do it. Also utilize ebay. We go and get my daughter’s feet measured at Clarks and then go on ebay and hunt for that size. We have bought all of her shoes that way and it has never cost us more then £6 with shipping.
Good luck. I can’t wait to hear about your journey.
Good luck with it all. For various reasons i used disposable nappies for my first born,now, with my second child due in a few weeks i am making the change to washables. I did a fair bit of browsing and decided that Little Lambs were probably going to be the ones for me because i like how they are made. Having settled on a type i then used ebay to source the complete set of nappies, liners and wrappers. It was a couple of weeks before i won an auction at the right price, but worth the wait as i got the full kit which retails at £300 on the little lamb site for £40. I’ve since seen other full sets going for an equally small price.
Great idea….would love to have you do a guest blog over at Cheeky Wipes…and help you move to washable cloth baby wipes (which are hassle free) too?
Would love to try washable wipes! How do I get started?
before my daughter came along (suprise baby no4) i freecycled all my clothes toy etc..
then when i was pregnant we decided that she didnt need ‘stuff’ just food warmth and love.
i bought a sling, and cloth nappies. we were given a car seat (unused) given a cot (which we dont yet use lol as we co-sleep) and i bought loads of second hand babygrows and vests. spent a total of £200.
its very easy to do when they are very young, gets harder the older they get as they want what their friends have.
RE the shoes, you must buy new, second hand shoes can deform children’s feet.
Natalie I am really curious about the second hand shoe comment. Since I buy second hand all the time I wanted to look this up but I can’t find any thing that says this at all. The only thing I find and I already know is the issue of putting shoes on babies that aren’t walking. Can you post some information on what you are talking about?
Re toothbrushes. Kids have smaller mouths so need smaller heads. Although some brands of adult toothbrush are smaller than some children’s toothbrushes.
For washable wipes you can just cut up old towels or use old flannels. We have a ton of old ikea flannels we use for clean ups and some pound shop face cloths for bums. Clothnappytree.co.uk has a swapping section in their forums.
Shoes: as long as it fits I don’t think barely worn second hand is bad. But you do need to be fussy about the fit. And if he only wears them when absolutely necessary they will last longer. We once went on holiday without my son’s shoes because he doesn’t wear them in the car!
Fantastic! Good luck!
For what it’s worth we’ve been using reusables since R was about 6 weeks old and we’ve not found them to be a hassle at all, when the bucket’s full just sling them in the machine.
What a fantastic blog I am so glad I stumbled across you! Can’t wait to hear more as I dream of doing the same…
Laura
Great great idea!! We all too often rely on the convenient. Toys post Christmas are out of control especially at this early stage when we can get away with not having the Ben10 of the moment! best to make the most of it before the school peer pressure or embarrassment by friends… The dreaded “but Mum EVERYONE else has one! And “please don’t make me wear granny’s cardigan again!”
Important to teach them values without letting them get too jeered at for looking like they’re stuck in 1974!
Food is an interesting one .. Of course we can all make home cooked meals and snacks.. its making the time to make them! And being inventive……Hmm I’m up for it!!
Yup bring it on I say!! Bring on the nature walks with pockets full of leftovers!!
Great idea Hattie! I’ll be trying to do something similar this year. We’ve always found loads of good stuff on freecycle. Here’s a thrifty idea – I made my daughter Phoebe a teepee for Christmas out of some bamboo sticks and some lovely 1950s curtains I found in a skip. Almost as good as this one http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/moozlehome/product/indoor_play_teepee?utm_source=GoogleShopping&utm_medium=Gifts&utm_campaign=47802 and cost £0, not £198!
Can’t offer any advice on the nappy front, but might brave the reusables with baby no.2. Will be watching closely to see how you get on xx
Wow! Hi nice to meet you all! Where have you guys been hiding!? I have a son same age as yours and have tried to have the philosophy of giving him time not stuff but in a world where stuff is everywhere I have felt bad. I go to the library each week to get him loads of books, daddy is an artist and makes books for our son. I have made pictures, toilet roll snowmen using old scraps and my make up drawer supply of cotton wool ,all made with my son and with love. We do lapse and buy the odd book or two because I am book obsessed and so is little man but I am so happy to meet fellow parents questioning really does my two year old absolutely need an iPad, a drum kit, a wii etc.
I also am a physically disabled mum and have been disabled since birth so I often have cried because I can not get him out to baby classes such as baby meditation, chess for babies or germ ridden ball pools hehe love that comment! However I see that actually friends are really all my son needs and glad to hear that taking him to places is a bit pants and having fun with others at our home is cool, really do feel better for hearing that from a well parent as was so down on myself.
I do write a blog which I took off but will re instate as I thought maybe my blog was a bit pathetic as I talked of free at home things to do with a child rather than the world out there for well parents to do with their kids but I feel supported now too in that actually maybe my thoughts are not tragic and actually maybe useful.
Huge thanks for this post, keep up the great work, you have honestly made me feel happier x
PLEASE bring your blog back! It sounds like it would have lots of good advice!
It’s been a vague off in the distance one day kind of conversation about having kids in our house (we have a foster son at present which was a little unexpected and a long story but having a baby of our own has been raised in conversation). Anyway! My friend had a baby in the summer and as her new baby present I bought supermarket own brand nappies (You always need nappies right?!) and a cute supermarket clothing range baby outfit – it was cute I couldn’t resist kind of thing.
We discussed over dinner that it made more sense to buy supermarket clothes or adopt other peoples hand me downs because baby is going to dribble and possibly throw up over the clothes and so is there any point spending out on an expensive outfit.
Hubby and Me are in the situation where we know 8-10 couples who have had babies in the last year so part of me secretly hopes that when the time comes we will be able to adopt hand me downs from all over the place.
As it happens I have 4 skirts going to one friend and a t-shirt going to another as hand me downs that I’m passing to other people.
I am thinking of adopting some if this ….right now. In particular food, toys an clothes. Olly no longer wears nappies but wonder how much is spent on fuel bills washing them v disposables. I’d like to bin the tv too, but may have other family members breaking down! Very best of british! Xxxx
Hi Leanne, we got rid of our TV two years ago when we moved house. Our then two year old got use to it pretty quickly. I must admit we watch things online and DVD. But really don’t miss it.
I’ve read that properly measured shoes are essential as otherwise they can lead to back problems http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11790486 But someone gave me the idea that you could take your kids along to Clarks wearing hand me downs and ask the shop assistant to check if they were still fitting ok.
I have always bought secondhand shoes on ebay. I go to clarks get his feet measured, make some excuse about looking on their website to see their whole stock then buy them on ebay. you can get a pair of clarks shoes for about £5-9, most of the toddler sized ones are in really good condition, they have probably only been wearing them for about 3 months, and you would be amazed at parents that buy their kids a couple of pairs of shoes at a time and one pair never gets worn. If they dont fit you can sell them on.
[...] Free our kids – the beginning [...]
The ideas remind me of the days when I had my 2. Money was tight in the 70′s and 90% of playthings were homemade from what I garnered from around the house. No Freecycle or swap then. How many sets of this or that item of clothing/toy does a baby/child need? Oh, the hours of play/interpretation from a big cardboard box..Perhaps the buying of items satisfy the needs of parents more.
As a grandparent I too must resist rushing to the pay counter when I see a lovely item. I look forward to following your blog. I do hope your blog might give encourage to others.
[...] stuff is expensive though so I try and avoid that as much as possible. Even more so since I read ‘this’ blog. (well worth a read by the [...]
Please don’t forget the Library. Story sessions and books. What could be better!
Grt idea….I have been trying to get my hubby to understand the concept, this is a nightmare for me….I still feel sick about the amount of Christmas presents my kids got and the amount it cost us…..I have said that next Christmas I will move out and the toys can move in…It is ridiculous!!!!!!! We have 3 children (10…7 & 3) with a mortgage….The banks must be laughing at our stupidity!
My sister-in-law, a podiatrist laughed at my concern over second hand shoes. Her advice. As much barefoot time for little growing feet as possible on lots of different uneven surfaces. She grew up in hand-me-down shoes and sees no problem.
I think a bit like thumb sucking and bad teeth. A friend sucked her thumb for 12 years, so much that her sucked thumb has stunted growth. But her teeth are perfect! Genetics are perhaps more responsible for dodgy feet and teeth than what we put on or in them. Just my own unproven theory.
So totally, utterly behind you on this one.
I have been basically unemployed for 12 months (managed 15 weeks freelancing), and we have been loaned or gifted all the big things for the baby (pram, cot, carseat, capsule). Almost all the clothes we have we bought second hand. Any that aren’t second hand or gifted were clearance or sale.
The only “big things” we have bought new are a bookshelf and a chest of drawers for the nursery, which we also spent a good chunk of money on renovating – but thats more because it needed to be done, even if there wasn’t a baby and it was staying a study.
We are aiming for mainly cloth nappies (but have some disposables to start with) and I am hoping to breastfeed, so our rules might be slightly different to yours, but I still reckon we can do a year on NZ$1000 or so. Will have to start running this on my blog too, to keep ourselves accountable and honest.
I hope you’re doing well with this. We went in a very similar direction shoppingwise (we bought a carseat, a crib, a poster, and diapers).
Doing disposables for the first week, or first month can actually save a lot of money. It is possible to buy newborn sized cloth diapers, but they aren’t cheap, and they hardly get used. A couple of weeks of disposables will also get you through the brief period where they poop frequently. If you try a few different cloth diapers, you may decide that some of them are easier than disposables. I love being able to double stuff a bumgenius diaper so the baby stays dry longer at night, and find flips really easy to change during the day. When we travel, we splurge on disposables, but I often pack a few cloth diapers for the convenience.
[...] I visited one of my ‘blog friends’ website a few months ago (Thanks expatsincebirth.com) where I first heard all about the Buy Nothing New Month which is meant to be in October. But I found out too late to participate so thought I would give it a go in February. I would love to encourage readers to do likewise – let me know if you are in! You have two weeks to think about it. I have prepared a little and planned my mum’s birthday gift so she needn’t worry! If you join me in this fun challenge let me know how it is going during the month of February. If you think this is radical, it pales into comparison with another mum who has decided to buy nothing new for her child for a year. Have a look at her site at http://www.freeourkids.co.uk [...]
I’ve just discovered your blog and love it! It’s so refreshing to read such an honest account of motherhood. I salute you for what you are doing, and am going to take on some of your rules. Check out my blog too-I sometimes post about cheap and fun activities for kiddos. Good luck! I’ll be checking in to see how you’re doing!x
I’m not a mum, but I am an Aunty to four – my brother and sister both have 2 children. My sister’s son and my brother’s daughter are both 5, then my sister’s daughter is 3 and my brother’s son 2.
When my sister and sister-in-law were expecting, Mum got given 2 bin-bags full of baby/child clothes by a friend – both boys and girls clothes, fairly un-worn. The older ones used these, then they got swapped and handed to the younger ones. As Aunty, I’ve got a policy of not buying toys with batteries – I provide “real” toys.
Also, when we were little mum was in a baby-sitting circle. The group had tokens – half-hour and 1-hour, and you “paid” for baby-sitting with tokens – making sure there wasn’t anyone who took but didn’t give. We never had special baby food – just ate whatever everyone else was having, chopped up in a bowl. And of course back then disposable nappies were much less common!
Good luck to you. I think this is an excellent idea. I’ll be following to see how well you do. The only place you may have issues is with the disposable diapers. This can be problematic when you are out and about and in my case, the babysitter refused to use cloth.
I suppose you could always use a bartering approach with the shoes… If you were to find a charity shop with a suitable pair of shoes, you could explain your situation, offer your volunteering services or discuss some sort of swap, where you bring them two pairs of shoes that no longer fit the little Mr, for a pair that do??
This is so encouraging and inspiring. We recently spent Christmas holiday with our families. The kids spent a lot of time on their devices instead of interacting with adults and the other kids like years past. Very disappointing. We are distracting ourselves with the trivial and forsaking the most important. We are in the process of realigning our lives with our values – face time (real, not the Apple variety) as a family and interpersonal interaction as entertainment. Bravo and cheers!
Jason
Memphis, TN
Jason! A father! Hooray! I think you might be our first! “LADIES!!! We’ve caught A MAN!” Hx
Anyone who’s ever played on a tire swing, played hide and seek, or played with a stick and a hoop knows that this can be more rewarding than “toys” that leave less – far less to the imagination. GOOD FOR YOU!
Well, I hope you folks won’t mind a yank posting. But 40-50 years ago, this was the norm, and how I was raised. And I didn’t turn into Scrooge. I wore hand me downs, ate what the rest of the family ate, didn’t HAVE the high dollar toys out there now. What I did have was a family that I spent a great deal of time together. I’ve raised 5 children, they’ve all turned out normal, and I raised them the way I was raised. Mom, you are giving your son the most precious thing in the world, your time and attention. Don’t let anyone make you think that you’re being stingy or doing something wrong. And don’t forget, whatever that other guy in the photo says, he actually CAN rinse out diapers without fainting! Best of luck!
this is brilliant…i vowed to make 2013 a spend free year…has it been perfect? no, but i remind myself every day to consciously make choices to NOT spend money…i can wait until we get home after our evening of karate lessons to have left overs rather than splurging on teas, cakes, goodies at the local coffee shops and restaurants. Before the 2012 holiday’s began i also got out every single stitch of yarn i own. I’m a knitter….and now a spinner…i organized ever ball and skein and entered the details of each into a spreadsheet. For 2013 this is my yarn store. Six big storage totes full of yarn, unfinished projects, un spun fiber to choose from. I’m not perfect and i know i’ll break down now and then but the weekly hemmoraging of money on things we do not need has to come to an end…I’ll be keeping up with you on your blog to help me stay motivated this year and hopefully into 2014 and beyond.
I love looking through an article that can make men and women think.
Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!
[...] when buying clothes or looking online for used toys or clothes for my little one. After reading this lady’s blog, it reassured me that its ok that I don’t want my child to have the newest toys, clothes [...]
This is exactly what my family needs, thank you Harriet. I can’t wait to read more