BUT FIRST, SOME DISCLAIMERS:
Mama don’t preach. I’m not here to tell you what you should be doing, for one simple reason: I don’t know.
This isn’t my scene. The only time I tried to cut the kid’s hair, even his father laughed at the results and he gets his hair cut for £4 by a one eyed Albanian off the Holloway Road. The idea of reusable nappies makes me want to sprint to the nearest bar (just wait till you see me trying to sprint… in these shoes?
There are millions of mothers in the UK in millions of different situations. I can only write from my own perspective and I’m no expert. But I’m going to talk to as many as possible along the way to better inform myself and share their answers with you. I’m just going to try. Really hard. And where I fail, Ill be frank about it here.
[If you were after more info on the extent to which these rules apply apply to me too, see here.]
Liberation not deprivation. The first rule of Free our Kids? No rule is set in stone.
There will be some inevitable bumps along the road. Possibly mountains. Followed by some craters. If it turns out that the kid needs me to spend money on something in order for him to be healthy and/or happy then we’ll revert to spending on that thing and, of course, come clean about it on this blog.
The promise isn’t that I will absolutely, definitely be able to stop spending any money for a whole year. The promise is to start that way, so that I have to re-examin and consider all the different things I was spending money on without, really, being able to afford it and without, really, stopping to think whether they were adding to the kid’s wellbeing.
Of course, I hope we can hold to our rules and find creative ways for him to have just as much fun, food and love as before. Only without spending money on them. So here we go….
THE RULES….
1) FOOD
No buying of kid specific food. No snack bars, apple rice cakes, smoothies, tiny plastic cheeses. Some of these are brilliantly useful in a tight spot (Organix snack bars, how I will miss you). But most have to be the biggest con of all and I’m done with them.
Did you know that infant ready meals were so rare in 2006 that they didn’t exist as an industry category? Five years later, they’re worth £25.8 million and growing by nearly 25% every year.
Not in this family. Not anymore. From here on it’s weekly menu planning. Three meals a day that suit all three of our tastes and nutritional needs. Snacks that Tom and I will eat too. If the kid doesn’t like something, I’ll tuppaware it up and eat it later myself. Less waste, less angst.
2) CLOTHES
We aim to spend £0 on the kid’s threads in 2013.
Kids grow criminally fast. They should stop, really they should. But in the meantime, it just compounds the crime not to use second hand clothes. And thirdhand. And fourthhand.
This boy is two years old. He doesn’t need to be on trend. He needs to be warm and dry so that he can explore the world.
We’ll have hand me downs and freecycle. Have you seen the things people throw away? There’s no need for your kid to look like this (except for reasons of personal mirth):
The only thing I will miss, here as with toys, is supporting Oxfam and other brilliant charity shops. There will, I think, be times when I know I can cut out all spending, but I’m not sure if I should. Stay tuned for further ethical dilemmas…
3) TOYS
£0. For pretty much the same reasons as with clothes.
Last year the Evening Standard estimated that there were 474 million unused toys gathering dust in British homes and a study by Ribena found that one-in-six parents bought their kids the latest gadgets because they wanted to “look good in front of other families”.
The Telegraph interviewed one Mrs Goddard Blythe (director of the Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology) who said that British parents had been duped into ”thinking that the more they provide for their children in terms of material, electrical goods and, in turn, the more money they spend, the better parents they are”.
WE’RE THE GROWN-UPS, GUYS. Wake up.
4) ACTIVITIES
£0. I’ve been to enough ‘Mini Music’, ‘Monkey Madness’, ‘Mummy’s making a Muppet of Herself with a Maraca’ classes to know how it works.
We’ll make our own classes, at home, with friends. We’ll paint, do ‘sensory’ stuff (ropey box full of pasta shells and string, yeah?) go out for walks to collect mud and stones and sticks and bring them back to smear into the floors.
It’ll be harder work for me. But just as fun for him. And the coffee will be better.
5) NAPPIES
Oh god. Here we go… Apparently, the average, sane, poo-rinsing-averse British family spends £922.74 on disposable nappies in the first 2.5 years of their child’s life. So yeah, I’m going to swap Pampers for reuseables. Even if the washing kills me (I think there’s a real chance of this).
6) HAIR
Laugh all you want, Daddyo. The DIY haircut is making a comeback. But this time I might get a professional to teach me (and write a ‘how to’ post for readers too).
7) CHILDCARE
This is the one expense I can’t cut out. Johnny has childcare three days a week. And since a girl’s got to work (this one does, at any rate), and his grandmas are busy ladies, the childcare has got to stay.
8) MEDICINES ETC
I’m not an idiot. Calpol, bonjella, and any other form of medicine doesn’t count.
—
That’s it right? Oh wait….
SHOES
What do I do about shoes? Aren’t they the one thing you’re really supposed to spend money on? Anyone got any smart ideas?
And what else have I left out?
Love it! Most of Grace’s clothes and many toys are hand-me-downs but we are guilty on the supermarket front. And if you succeed on the nappy front, be sure to tell me how!
I think the shoes can basically be £5 from the market, no? Knowing the phenomenal amount that I know about children, is he going to be pounding the pavement/walking for miles/doing anything which demands an overpriced buttery leather shoe?
Also, let’s build dens. Sensorily challenging (muddy and with sticks) dens. MUCH better than any of those hideous sounding soft play centres.
Are you allowed charity shops? Posh charity shops (Chelsea, Kensington) for shoes if you are – the only parents who don’t let their children wear their footwear to flaps of fabric are the very rich… then they salve their guilt by dumping on Oxfam. Go go go.
I think spending counts, how ever little it is. I made the rules, so I guess I better stick to them. Sigh. V useful advice for others reading though!
On the shoes: I’ve several times bought nearly new Clarks shoes from eBay at approx one tenth of their RRP. Daughter still walking straight.
But that’s still spending, so I propose one modification to the rules: keep everything cost neutral. If you spend a little on one thing, sell something else so that it balances out. eBay is brilliant for this.
I got suckered by the retail madness too. One thing I discovered since: trendy secondhand babygear fetches an absolute packet. I’d sell the £400 buggy first. Put a reserve on it if you must, on the remote offchance that it goes for 99p, but so long as you take nice pics and big it up with the designer name very prominent in the title, it’ll sell.
Second piece of eBay advice (not so useful, but still): you get more if you sell just before or during Christmas and Easter. Sell winter stuff when it’s cold, summer stuff when it’s hot. Not rocket science, but helps boost earnings.
Cost neutral – I like it! x
Washing nappies won’t be as bad as you think, honestly! With a toddler you’ll definitely get away with no more than two washes a week. Don’t bother soaking, you don’t need to and it makes the whole job messier. Use fleece liners (cut your own out of a big piece of polyester fleece) and consider washable wipes too (just soak them in a mix of camomile tea, a drop of liquid soap and maybe some olive oil). We still use our wipes instead of kitchen roll for face and nose wipes and our eldest is 9!
Good luck
Brilliant, thanks! What brand did you like?
A few things I thought of:
- toiletries (baby shampoo, kiddie soap, etc) — presumably just use the grownup stuff?
- social activities with other kids/families — what to do if invited to a thing that costs money?
- craft supplies — you can get a lot of free stuff, but crayons and paint might be hard to find free
- how are you paying for the reusable nappies? doesn’t that startup cost count? or are you getting secondhand?
Yes! Toiletries. I’ve just been thinking about that too. Going to do some research and will post an interview with an expert. Watch this space…
Get him measured in clarks but then buy them on eBay. Clarks shoes are good enough quality that they’ll be fine second/third hand but they’re so much cheaper on eBay than they are in store. As long as he’s accurately measured and you buy the right size he’ll be fine. Then just sell his last pair to make up the money.
Good luck!
Shoes – you can get him measured for free at any shop. The only downside of this is some children do measure one size and fit a different one totally. I know this because my own daughter actually fits a width fitting a size or two smaller than measuring suggests, because she has a high instep. The chances of your local soucrce of hand me downs having the same size and width is quite slim which will make it difficult.
You could try to get them from NCT Nearly New Sales. Some branches allow shoes to be sold, but some also don’t. The range is likely to be greater and you’ll be likely to get some for the fraction of the cost and in good condition.
Equally, NCT events other than classes are free or very low cost (our branch doesn’t charge but just has a collecting tin at stay and play mornings – which are just turning up at someone’s house, the parents drinking coffee and the children playing with the toys.
You can also help cut childcare costs (maybe not whole days, I’m thinking evenings out) by setting up your own babysitting circle with friends. I’ve had oodles of free babysitting that way.
BTW, my kids are older but they eat the same as us and have done for some time (not that they ever really had that much different to us). I do a weekly meal plan which I publish on my blog and I take part in the Meal Planning Monday linky on Mrs M’s blog at http://athomewithmrsm.blogspot.com I cook from scratch all the time and the upside of planning meals in advance is that your food shopping bill will drop substantially as you will KNOW what you need to buy (if you check your cupboards before going of course) and you won’t buy stuff just in case and then waste it.
Brilliant – might pinch some of your meal plan ideas!
We have recently se up a babysitting circle in the village where I live. It’s a great idea for free babysitting. We all started off with a set amount of (unusual looking) buttons & payment is one button per half hour of sitting, or 2 buttons per half hour of sitting after midnight. My hubby & I went out for the first time as a couple since the birth of our 3 year old in December, it was fantastic!
That is a very cool plan BUT – I could never do it
I’d go mad without soft play centers in the winter! As for nappies – I toilet trained my boys very early, the second one was out of nappies by 19 months so just forget about the washing and bring out the potty 
This could be a good resource to figure out elimination needs
would help if I put link: http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/
Love this. We’ve gone down the second hand clothes, avoiding soft play classes, as few baby ready meal jobbers as possible route since my son was born 3.5 years ago. Mainly because we’re skint, partly because I’d rather jump repeatedly up and down on a plug than spend any time in a soft play centre and partly because it just seems sensible. Can’t wait to see how you get on. Come and visit me for a dose of inappropriate sweariness and a vast amount of screwing things up and needing a gin sometime: http://www.howtobeadomesticdisgrace.blogspot.com x
Inappropriate sweariness is right up my street. Probably even more so when I tackle the reusable nappies….
Hi there – love the idea of this challenge! my boy is only 3.5 months old so may have to still be spendy for some things as his needs are changing so fast but this is a great idea. It is along the lines of how I think about it anyway but I am keen to focus.
We use reusable nappies, I currently use Little Lamb “One size fits all” however I think we’ll need to change at some point as he is a chunky little fellow and I don’t think we’ll get one year out of them let alone two. Do you sew? There are patterns available online to make your own. They are no bother at all to wash actually, I have a lidded bucket (it’s the Tots Bots 12l one) and they go in there. I pull the microfibre inserts out at the time and then I don’t need to separate them before washing them. They dry overnight near a radiator.
Some councils do reusable nappy incentives so it’s worth looking there. Also a good info site is here: http://www.twinkleontheweb.co.uk/
My mother used cloth nappies for me and for my brother, so I imagine you get used to it…
Some ideas/thoughts for you:
Make home made pies, any off-cuts of pastry make a great substitute for plasticine, and you don’t need to worry about the child eating it, it’s only flour and fat after all.
Learn to knit – even if you are no good at it, the failed experiments and balls of wool are just as good as any soft play centre
Shoes- please do NOT use 2nd hand shoes (other than wellies maybe)- people all have their individual gaits- shoes wear according to that gait, and even if you manage to get a 2nd hand pair that are correct size and width, the wear inside will be wrong for your child (have a look at one of your oldest pairs of non-heeled shoes- see where the wear is, bet it’s different to your husband’s).
nappies- well, he’s 2- why not toilet-train him? you wanted free fun activities too… <>
Hair- cutting hair is actually not too difficult… the hardest part is getting a 2yo to sit still for longer than one snip! But surely you could do a skill exchange with someone that can cut hair? Maybe for babysitting, as perhaps not too many hairdressers need a journalist?
Food- no problem with no ‘kiddy food’, but keep an eye on the salt content in normal but processed food.
I know. This is my worry about shoes. Sigh. Haircutting: you say that. But you haven’t seen my hand eye coordination at work. Honestly. Be afraid.
Arts and crafts stuff – make your own playdough (dead easy), recycle egg boxes etc, for modelling, dig out any paints you have stuffed in a cupboard (but beware the acrylics!), in the summer give them a pot of water and a paintbrush to paint the fence/wall (works a treat), in the winter, a watering can with water and food colouring in to make patterns in snow, speak to a local printers or architects to see if they have scrap large size paper that they would otherwise throw away, dye pasta and use for collages, jewellery, model building.
Wow I am always amazed at how much people can spend on things. We live in the country so presure is not so great on us.
When I first moved in with my partner he handed me some clipper and said can you cut my hair. I told him I have no idea how to do that, he showed me and I can do it. I have short very straight hair and I should let him do mine. He does do my eye lashes so we meet half way.
When i made my list of what i needed for baby and then started to look on ebay etc you should have seen my mother inlaws face.
I then told her that the savings would go to my partners car as we will need a family car.
Good luck with your adventure. You might also raise my standards here.
I have 2 kids, one was a toddler in the UK the other in rural France. For the UK one we received hardly any pass on clothes, for the France one complete strangers offered me pass me downs. These included shoes – some completely knackered and minging, some practically like new. I have the worlds largest collection of kiddy shoes, plenty to choose from that don’t have discernible wear.
My experience of the holy rite of shoe fitting in the UK has shown me on numerous occasions that you can go to the same shop on the same day and a different fitter will tell you a different size. In France they don’t have width fittings at all, they check the feet in the shoe and see if it fits. Do confess to the little one wearing wellies a lot though – just because they’re practical.
Re. the nappies, first child I used disposables, 2nd child washables – didn’t really feel like I ended up doing much more washing, both mine such mucky pups any how. Home made wipes are brilliant, much more effective than the packet variety. I cut up an old fleece blanket to make wipes and liners. At 2, no nappy at all whenever practical is also a good option.
Good luck
Maybe make an exception for the shoes? But in the summer they don’t need much in the way of footwear. Could you let his hair grow long?
Good luck with it all, it’s a great idea.
Congratulations! I did this myself 35 years ago and my friends did this. I will be following your adventure with interest and cheering you all the way. I would like to share your posts on my fb business page as, I hope, the mother’s who read it will be inspired and their little ones will learn the the best things in life come free!
I admire your goal – re. toys have you considered retrocycling? Fortunately my parents kept all our childhood toys and I now give them to my own daughter for birthday’s and Christmas. She’s none-the-wiser and enjoys them as much just as much as I did! Think you may just have to make an exception on the shoes though – or you could invest in a shoemaking course and do it yourself.
I’ve been using washable nappies since my daughter was 9 months. Honestly it’s easy, the liners flush – so no little bags of poo filled nappies sitting in a bucket in the bathroom. Hand me down clothes – why would you buy any clothes for a baby – they only wear them twice before they no longer fit. Toy swap – lend and borrow toys from other babies for a couple of weeks at a time and use things you have in the house – a big wooden spoon and a Tupperware box is just as much fun as a £20 toy drum and fill small plastic containers with dried beans and pasta then tape up the lids for free shakers then put on the radio and that’s your mini music class. Use the library – free story times and free books to borrow – no fines on late books if they have their own ticket. Garden centers with fish and pet areas also make excellent free days out. And all that before you get to the park!
A word to the wise: next time you run out of Calpol, go to the chemist and ask for “generic infant paracetamol suspension”. It might be a different flavour (the bottle we have presently is cherry), but the important bit (the paracetamol) is just the same. It was about half the price, though.
I have three children aged 12, 10 and 8 and we have very consciously not bought for the sake of buying. We used real nappies and they worked out fine. We found they potty trained earlier than other children because they could feel the wet and understood more what was going on! Food you will be fine on. Shoes, I would stick to wellies in the winter and second hand/hand me down crocs in the the summer. You don’t need to worry about fitting. My brother had issues with his feet and my parents couldn’t afford the special shoes so he wore wellies for a few years! As for toys – cardboard boxes, pieces of material, home made playdoh is all you need at his age. We had a rule that no toy should have an electrical component to it and saved our sanity and wallets. We still have a family computer, 1 tv and a family wii and that is it. Even with my aged children this is more than enough, even though all their friends’ families seem to have a wii, ds, play station and i-pad each. Go for it. I’ll be interested to see how you do.
Ooh, good luck! You might find this forum helpful for family food ideas and snacks http://www.babyledweaning.com/recipes/
We use washable nappies too (baby is 10 months) and it really isn’t a problem – once you’ve dealt with one stinky one you’ll be away. Her nappies are all second hand too, was fortunate enough to get some on freecycle, might be worth posting a “wanted”. Just get a mesh bag for your bucket, and shove the whole lot in the machine in one go.
Finally, had been feeling like my child was deprived for not having many toys, but now I feel better – her favourite things are either second hand or a bottle filled with dried beans anyway…shall be watching with interest and stealing ideas from you!
If Johnny is poorly with a cough and cold etc and you can be bothered to go to the doctor, get them to prescribe him Calpol/Nurofen. They never tell you that or do it but you can get that stuff for free when they’re little! I’m also gearing myself up to start cutting A’s hair myself: he’s already had to have four haircuts despite only being 21 months and so far it has cost us a FORTUNE!
ONIONS! I saw this posted on Internet….. But apparently it does work to battle colds/ coughs…
” In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu…
Many of the farmers and their families had contracted it and many died.
The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then). The doctor couldn’t believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.
Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser. She said that several years ago, many of her employees were coming down with the flu, and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work. Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu.
Now there is a P. S. to this for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues. She replied with this most interesting experience about onions:
Thanks for the reminder. I don’t know about the farmer’s story…but, I do know that I contacted pneumonia, and, needless to say, I was very ill… I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion put it into an empty jar, and place the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs…sure enough it happened just like that…the onion was a mess and I began to feel better.
Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.
This is the other note. Lots of times when we have stomach problems we don’t know what to blame. Maybe it’s the onions that are to blame. Onions absorb bacteria is the reason they are so good at preventing us from getting colds and flu and is the very reason we shouldn’t eat an onion that has been sitting for a time after it has been cut open. “
Wow! My mum used to leave half an onion in the corners of rooms – now I remember why!
Hattie – Sorry about your news, but loving your ideas! I look forward to following your journey…
Monique
http://www.westlondonmum.co.uk
What an Interesting and worthwhile plan for 2013. My first baby is 8 weeks old and I have been on a bonkers spending spree – travel system alone £1000! She has also been showered with gifts. I’m now thinking its all a bit mad, am mortified at the extent of the baby wardrobe and plan a slightly less ‘cold turkey’ change along your lines and look forward to following your progress. Do you have a Sure Start children’s centre near you? Mine is superb and totally free and open 5 days a week.. It has, amongst lots of different play sessions, a craft session, which might be useful to you in respect to paint costs etc. it has a fabulous toy library where you can borrow toys for free. One question though, what are your thoughts on swimming classes? Any natural sources of open water round my way would bust the medicines budget. Given your son is so small I guess it isn’t yet a life saving skill but I wonder if its something to consider? Is it important to you? I’m signed up for classes next month which I sheepishly admit I’m not sure is necessary but felt I should do. I’m hoping my little one will benefit from the early ‘immersion’. Also, is it just your spending that is curtailed? I’d have no hope stopping friends and family (read grandparents) from buying stuff. I’m aware how lucky I am to have this ‘problem’.Perhaps you could ask for shoes and craft items? My step-mother kindly paid for the swimming classes as a Christmas gift and I’ve also been given a heritage annual family pass to get into a local arboretum and castles with grounds. I don’t want to make presumptions about your relations with extended family and obviously they aren’t there to subsidise us but it might help your project if you guide their purchases. Would they be up for that? Or is it cheating? Good luck – and wish me luck too!
This is so great! I totally approve. We’re kind of living this because a) I’m naturally tightfisted and b) I’d prefer my baby girls to have the cash when they’re older and actually care what it’s being spent on. Also because, having twins, if I can do it myself rather than having to take them somewhere it avoids the logistical nightmares of having to keep the two of them fed, watered and rested on the go.
Trying to think if I have any ideas… I know the budget for clothes is zero but buying/selling on ebay is good. If you’re sticking at 1 baby, sell your maternity coat now because the shops are onto their spring clothes even though maternity wear is by definition something you buy at short notice… I sold my coat for more than I paid for it!
Has your local authority got a toy library? Ours is very good, only open when the smallsters are sleeping though unfortunately.
Shoes – I think there is a certain level of brain-washing by Clarks about buying children’s shoes. When it came to my boy’s first pair over here, I went looking for the nearest shop to carefully measure his feet and try to find just the right shoe and it’s simply not done the same way here with the same fearful attention lest your child end up club-footed. So, you could possibly get hand-me-down shoes too. Or ebay shoes so you are at least going cheap rather than full-on-consumer.
With activities, I just wondered, what about going swimming or to galleries or museums or the like? Will you pay for them? I think I would miss that. I know he’s only 2 so maybe swimming is the only one that’s really relevant!
As for nappies….you could start toilet training! (mine is over 2 and we haven’t started yet but I think if I was facing re-usables, I’d probably give it a go!)
I really love what you are trying to do.
I get really irritated by the amount of stuff we are supposed to buy as parents and can feel awful if you don’t. The child doesn’t notice as long as you spend time with them.
Good luck.
Hi Hattie, and congratulations on your blog. It looks amazing, so true, so right, so beautifully true. And loving towards your son. Sorry about you losing your job, but (if it is not an insult) congratulations on having to start this blog. I think you will find that blogging will change your life, the contacts you make, the appreciation you can get from strangers, and hopefully no stupid comments. I am sure a lot of good will come to you as a reason from this blog.
I live in Stockholm, have 3 kids, and I hope you would let me give you some thoughts on your rules. I give them only because I think your rules already are top terrific, but some input always makes the mind happy. So here goes some of it:
FOOD – you are soooo right to find this out. As a first mum I fell in to all the traps; glassjars with finished babymeals, glassjars with jellylike fruit (why, oh why?), babysnacks, babybiscuits, babybabybabyblablabla. With the second baby I noticed she thought baby glassjars was an insult. Was she not going to eat what her 3-year old sister was eating across the table, she seemed to say with her eyes. And with the last, third kid, glassjars – forget about it. Never. Wouldn’t touch it. But the sisters food, overcooked pasta, organic potatoes, organic sausage, fishfingers, overcooked corn, peas – yes yes yes mum! More! And fruit as it is, better than fruit from a jar… Anyway, congrats on coming to this conclusion with your first child.
SHOES – read neutral spending above, brilliant. Sell something in order just to buy the shoes. What about gifts, surely your boy will get pressies from grandmothers er al at xmas (too late now…) and birthday, maybe one gift in the easter egg. Make sure grandmothers et al know the size, the shoemodel and be as frank and say “he truly needs no new toys, if you want to fine, but he really needs shoes”.
ACTIVITIES – oh you’ll be fine
HAIR – maybe know a friend who is a hairdresser? I tried a couple of times myself, everyone can do it, just get it nice in time for school
NAPPIES – I don’t mean to sound lecturing at all, but think about it; you can learn a baby at one to sit at a table and learn how to eat. It is just as easy to learn a 12 month old baby to sit on the potty and…well…. do nr 2. You sit next to him, and you try and sit at the times in the day you know he is going usually. Like in the morning. By 18 months they can do it, by 2 years both my girls where out of daytime nappies, and nr 2 never happened in the diaper again. I stayed with the normal nappies, but it gave/gives a bad conscious when I think about it takes a 100 years for nappies to fully dispose back into nature. And the nappies today are so good (or read “so bad”) that children stay in nappies up til they are 4 years old! They don’t even notice that they are wet! So again, congratulations on the nappiesthing, I am sure your boy will be very fast to think “aha-I feel this-I do that-and I am wet-hmmm”…. They are smart.
MEDICINE – yes, I am not an idiot too. But the latest scientific researches show that we are not doing a developing immunesystem any good in giving them fevermedicins all the time, at any minor temperature. The immunesystem does not get to get into shape as it should. In shape for the bigger badder germs. I give medicins, of course, but like with everything else with kids it just seems as time gets buy, new truths come out all the time. Oh, its difficult. But I try to keep daytime fevermedicin to a minimum, wear little clothes to stay cool indoors, window open, drink a lot. Nighttime medicin I do, as I don’t like to not know how my baby is doing. My dad is a doctor, and he says back in the 70s maybe we had one or two rounds of antibiotics in the whole childhood in total! These days we are prescribing it like mental and we even are getting to resisting antibiotics. Sigh.
Again, congrats on your blog. And congrats on really making your part of giving your son a better future, as our spending is a big part in us humanity ruining the world we leave to our children. What you do is bigger than you think, and I shall follow your blog, and try and better myself on not buying so much fuzz that my kids don’t need. Good luck
I am really looking forward to reading about this project! We have been really struggling with using resusable nappies, so hoping to get some advice. We bought some second hand ones and have been running into a few problems. For example – modern clothes just don’t seem to be set up for them. Every pair of trousers we own for our son are too long in the leg and yet just not wide enough to go round the bulky reusable nappies! Also they seem to be wet through after only an hour or two (I absolutely can’t put him down for a nap in them, or we would have leaks) and I don’t know if it is because they are second hand, or the make isn’t so good (tots bots) or what. *sigh* Was really hoping to save money but so far it isn’t happening!
Have a look at http://www.thenappylady.co.uk for reusable nappy advice and ideas. She knows everything about them and does FREE demo days to help you choose the right ones for your needs. She helped me a lot.
I hate over the consumerised nature of modern life. I like that you have defined this aim, I hardly spend any money on my 2 boys (2 1/2 and 6 months) but it is amazing how it creeps in. By clearly stating it you are more likely to be succesful. My eldest can’t walk and therefore I hate organised groups as I get funny looks. We can’t go and run around anywhere and the swings can be a nightmare so I have become the master at activities. Here are some of my suggestions…
- Libraries – we spend hours in ours. Our favourite books I just renew lots till he gets bored of them.
- papermache. I used flour and water (thats it, no glue needed just dry it out properly) and then use a pastry brush to apply. Make a base from old card board.
-poo sticks.
- We feed the ducks every other day.
- Cut out pictures from magazines/other birthday cards to make your own.
Also I used reusable nappies on both my boys. They are easy once you get the type that suits you.
LOVE your blog! My kids are now 21, 18 and 16. We were broke (completely!) for most of the time when they were growing up, and they only had new shoes when we could afford them. That meant for the other time they always wore second hand shoes, sometimes each other’s, most of the time from charity shops. I’d probably relax your rule about NO spending whatsoever on shoes, but take it from me, my kids have all turned out FINE with secondhand shoes. I just watched for problems and if any problems happen, change what you’re doing. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you need to change things but you’re onto a winning thing here.
My husband and I used to be spendaholics, but once we lost our business, house and everything that went with it, we were TRANSFORMED by not wanting (or being able) to shop anymore. It truly was life changing. We NEVER go to the shops anymore for the sake of it or because we are bored. Life is fabulous without being suckered into consumerism for the entire family!
Good luck and we’ll follow you with interest!
P.S. Sharon…..what’s a poo stick?!
Your site was just published in our local paper Sydney Morning Herald. I have now made my way to your site and I am so on board!. Truly good idea we have a 4 and a 2.5 year old. I am fully reponsible for spending way to much on the children and use the excuse that it only $5.00 dollars here and there and they “really need a full set of summer or winter clothes”. After reading this you have motivated me to pull the pin on this worsening disease. Not only do they not need it, they dont even play with most of it and I find myself donating it to the local op shop or selling it on ebay at 50% less than what I paid still with tags on. Not to mention the credit card debt Ive racked up..How insane Im so angry at myself for making excuses that the kids have to have it…the swim lessons. the tennis lessons, the dance lessons..the special show at the museam have to be cancelled. I need to do this for the children as they are slowing losing the ability to “play” ( we do go the park, beach and library however sometimes you want something new. I love the theme idea..music class, swim lesson with dad at local pool and bird watching is a favourite) so ipad is no longer or iphone and tv is 2 hours a day..Down to one credit card with aim to have none…..You are 100% correct keep it up and best best of luck!! Also thankyou.
Hi All,
Loved reading all your comments. I am due to have my baby in April 2013 and am already dreading the amount of “stuff” that clutters your house when you have a child. We have already started asking people not to buy us toys, or anything electronic as what can a newborn actually do with it!. I would rather they give a donation to a charity to help sick children, or just save the money…
I am in with the rules. Although I cannot be completely cost free, I intend to be cost neutral. Everything we spend on the baby (essentials only), I will sell something I do not need (not only will this help my bank balance, but my sanity as well!)
I have dug out my knitting needles and the crate of wool I was given and have knitted 4 baby blankets (one of which I have already given away as a present) and have also got out the sewing machine to start making bits and pieces.
Cloth nappies are great but at 2, just toilet train!
I love your intentions here. I was fed up too and can well understand where you are coming from. I think you are on the right track now and you will find that alot of what you do this year will follow for years to come. The clothes swap is a great idea, but I have the eldest kid out of all family and friends. Making her clothes at 11 doesn’t cut it (so uncool). I found my hardest obstacle was stopping others from buying her something for everytime they saw her. I get that they were excited with the first kid born in the family, but not at her expense. I eventually made it clear after umpteenth tantrum at 2 I confiscated all her toys. She had to earn them back with good behaviour. After that I only had a small number in her room at a time and rotated on a monthly/fortnightly basis. Anything she did not show an interest in I sent to Goodwill. Well done and Good luck xxx
Love the idea. I’ve tried to keep things simple for my girls and that was mainly driven by wanting to avoid mindless consumerism.
Not keen on you’re use of cloth nappies. I looked at the time taken to clean them vs. the environmental implications of using disposals. (It takes over 5000 litres of water to produce 1kg of cotton for resuables. Then there is the chemicals used in cleaning them. But it takes a lot if resources to make disposables too. It was a time and convienence thing for me).
My youngest is 6 and wears hand-me-downs from her sister. She loves handing on her cast-offs to friends and takes others clothes with joy
When I had my daughter 6 years ago I decided that we were not going to spend a fortune on disposable nappies, so we went for the reusable cloth ones. We got them from a company who for a fee would collect the dirty ones each week and leave you clean ones. We did this for the first couple of weeks just to let us see if they were the nappies for us and then after that we bought them and did the washing ourselves. It wasnt too bad. I used liners just so the solids could be flushed down the toilet and all the used nappies went in a nappy bucket in the bathroom when it was full I put them all in the washing machine. It worked out at one to two washes a week. I also used reusable wipes (basically just a square of terry cloth or a facecloths would do. You can use camomile tea with a little honney in it (as honey is a natural antibiotic) and this keeps the skin clean and rash free. If found it easy. I hope you find it as easy.
Sign me up. Best of luck and I too will be following your progress with interest. I’ve returned to Australia with my family (3 kids under school age) after several years in the UK. Food and clothes are very expensive here. Thankfully weather is great so lots of outdoor (free) activities as well as libraries, bush walks and space to imagine. Currently at home with the darlings so need to watch the pennies. Clothes were definitely more affordable in UK (esp in sales) and I bought up big but now have stopped buying. My youngest son is completely fitted out including shoes and he’s also getting lots from cousins. I haven’t tried local free cycle or eBay yet but will do after reading this blog. Cost neutral will be the way to go for me, also lots more mending (get the sewing machine out of the box!) and baking and cooking and doing crafty/messy activities at home. Unavoidable costs though will be sunscreen (a medicine?), toothbrushes and toothpaste and shoes (new – I always wondered whether my bad feet were due to wearing ill-fitting plastic shoes in my youth).
Don’t be afraid of cloth nappies. A great area to really save money and reduce waste. So many tips online to make it easier than it sounds.
This challenge has highlighted that even with limited money and washing facilities you can keep a bub/child in clean pants!
http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com/second-annual-flats-and-handwashing-challenge-may-21-27-sign-up/
Haircuts… Great YouTube tutorials… Or Barter. Swap a haircut with a friend who cuts with a meal or a few hours babysitting. Sharing skills is a great way to reduce spending.
I keep on thinking of more ideas for you… What an adventure you’re beginning. And what an inspiration for me to pull my head in with spending and get creative with my own 2 kiddlets and a 3rd due in a few weeks.
Arty Activities:
http://www.kidscraftweekly.com
Cardboard toy construction:
http://www.innerchildfun.com/2012/10/10-amazing-toys-you-can-make-for-your-kids.html
A search through Pinterest for frugal ideas, free stuff to do with kids… You’ll soon have more ideas than hours in the day!!
I would reccommend Motherease cloth nappies. They are adjustable, so fit from birth to potty. they are also much slimmer than Tots bots, etc so can be worn with normal trousers. The set I was given had already been used on 3 babies and looked and worked as good as new. Great savings to be had.
Great idea! When my youngest was 18 months we moved abroad, I couldn’t find a job and then got pregnant again so we decided to change how we live and we have been managing on one salary for over 4 years now!
I used washables for both my kids (now 3 and nearly 6) and they were both out of nappies before they were 2. A combination of their dislike of a wet bum and my keeness to stop the washing! I used Motherease and loved them. I bought all the ‘baby gear’ on ebay/Friday ad/Gumtree (then the Dutch equivalent after we moved) and have been steadily selling it all off over that last year or so. I have time now so I home cook everything from scratch. We do however still get chips and pizza! My one big vice is toys. I’m addicted. I used to scour ebay for bargains and bought things years in advance when I saw them (scooters/dolls house/garage) to store for the appropriate birthday. But now I’m in toy shop heaven, the Netherlands has such great toy shops full of lovely Playmobil and Lego and I can’t help myself. So I started blogging for other people and I’m spending the money I earn from that feeding my toy addiction! The kids aren’t complaining.
On shoes – I found that by asking around there were a million ways of blagging free shoes. People who work in shoe companies and get free samples, unused and unworn party shoes, grandparents buying the wrong size for their grandkids… You’ll be surprised how many freebies you can scout out when you try!
I love this. A challenge for us is that we both work full time and are out of the house from 7 to 7. A lot of the ways around spending money involve spending time. I love the philosophy and am interested in any tips on how anyone has made successful moves in this direction with very limited spare time.
I have been reading a book called Simplicity Parenting which you may enjoy – all about the power of using less for our kids. After a busy Christmas I must say I looked at my daughters toy and clothing collection in alarm. It just can’t be good for them. And my wallet certainly can’t cope with it. You’ve inspired me and I can’t wait to see how you go!
Shoes – only my first child had new shoes and I was paranoid about fitting. Number 3 got measured at Clarks and then given the hand-me-downs of Number 2 and Number 1 of approx. size. No problems with her feet at all!
I love it!
Have you thought about birthday parties? What will you do when your little guy is invited somewhere that needs bringing a birthday gift? Does spending on child’s stuff count if it isn’t for your own child?
This may not be an option for you, but do you know any other working mamas who would be willing to do a childcare swap?
Obviously this won’t work for everyone, but I’m going to work 2 weekdays + Saturday and have a friend who has childcare already 1 day a week and is going to pick up 2 days. So I’m going to watch both babies when she works, and when I work she’ll watch both babies. Free childcare!
Pooh sticks is called this because it is a game in Winnie the Pooh. Pooh & the gang stand at a bridge and throw sticks into the river then run to the other side of the bridge to see whose stick comes through first. Obviously you need different sticks so that you can distinguish which stick is which. My kids loved it when they were young, and even occasionally now. Totally free and any age can do it, even little ones can be lifted (care near water, of course)
Are you making the same cut backs for your expendatures. Of course there is tons of waste due to kiddie marketing, but adults are just as guilty
Hi there, I’ve tried to answer this question already in my post ‘me, me, me.’ let me know if that still leaves you with questions! Cheers, H
Love this! Good luck! We use bumgenius diapers for our twins. Freetimes and 4.0 pocket diapers. Super easy to use and wash. And like the other reader posted, do not soak. Yuck!
You can get used shoes. Just like clothes, kids grow so quickly and don’t wear down shoes in a significant way. You are sure to find shoes the same way as clothes. This is inspiring to take my thrify-ness further.
Thanks!
Everything sounds great – my 2013 resolution is also to simplify and reduce my possessions. My only question is with the hand-me-down clothing. YOU might not be spending money for it, but someone did. Are you just planning on asking for hand outs from your friends, or can’t you just resolve to buy used clothing instead? That way you aren’t just mooching off of people but still being frugal.
Really good comment – one i’ve been planning a post on too!
Have a few conflicting thoughts in this area (commented v briefly on it in ‘when DIY goes wrong’) I’ll try and write it sooner rather than later now that you’ve raised the point – cheers! Hx
I don’t know it I can cut out everything, but going to do my best! I have three kids. As far as the shoes, clothing, etc. could you host a clothing swap? Could you sell your clothes, etc on eBay and then use that money to buy shoes, clothes?
Toiletries..? We started only getting the natural stuff, free of chemicals, dyes, etc that the entire family can use.
Good luck everyone!
Wow! If you can do it with three kids, you are a heroine! I have a blog post coming soon, written bya mother in a similar position – hopefully she’ll provide some useful tips and suggestions. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself will you? Find the balance that works for you. And see my post re toiletries – lots more choices than i thought were available. Hxxx
excellent crafty site (to replace all those mommy and me classes). You’ll probably have to buy some glitter and paint now and then, but often uses household items like string, paper plates, peas, lentils, etc… http://www.notimeforflashcards.com (disclaimer-not my website, just love it.)
While I have no suggestions for free, my kids have been getting their shoes second hand on consignment. It would certainly help reduce the cost if you have something similar in the UK. Same idea–the feet grow so fast and the second hand market can have decent shaped shoes for much less than retail.
Education.. music.. books… art supplies… films.. bedding
You should start a local trading group with mothers and families on a strict budget. You guys could get together once a month and trade kid clothes, shoes, baby food, school/art supplies, movies and books. Just stuff your little one has out grown and you want to trade for something else that might be more useful. Than and the end of the trading circle, mothers/families and kids could all get together and PLAY!
Why have shoes at all. read these articles.
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/barefoot-running-harvard-study/#axzz2J5HerFSm
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/flat-feet-treatment/#axzz2J5HerFSm
Cool, I love it and try to follow. But I’d not save money on the shoes, You have to have two luxury things for sure: your bed and your shoes, If you are not in the one, then you are in the other
This can couse serious problem – especially with kids – if you use second hand or garbage shoes.
Hey! Apologies if this is already covered somewhere and I’ve missed it ….
Was wondering what you were planning to do about gifts when you are invited to birthday parties etc? We attended out 4th party in 2 weeks yesterday and even buying gifts in a sale the costs mount up!
I’m thinking of making gifts (!) so only cost materials. Mind you struggling for ideas!!
M x
It hasn’t been covered, no, but a couple of other eagle eyed readers have asked too so I’ve got a post on it in the planning stages. I haven’t quite decided yet. So far, I’m thinking along the same lines as you – making gifts…. Except that I am SO terrible at crafting that it could end up in a ‘it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to’ situation… Hmmmm…. Hx
This is awesome. You are an inspiration. I decided at the beginning of this year to not buy anything *new* Stuff for myself or my (14 month old) daughter. Second hand clothes are just fine and she likes her homemade toys as well or better than store-bought anyway. (Like you, this was not an enormous leap for us, but it’s not completely natural, either.) So far, so good.
We’ve been using cloth diapers from the beginning and really like them. I don’t think the washing is gross at all. Just dump the bag in the washing machine and you don’t have to touch anything. I agree with the person who suggested using *something* as a diaper liner. That became a must when H started eating solids full-time. We use a flushable liner at the times we think we’ll need it, but I’m sure you could find another solution to (neatly and ungrossly) dispose of poo before washing the diaper.
Good luck! I’ll be reading with interest!
Ag, that should read “buy any new Stuff for myself…” or “buy anything new for…”
Just a couple of cheap or free tips that may be helpful that we’ve used to help keep costs low.
We’ve been trading toys with friends. Or giving away toys to those with younger kids and taking toys from those with older children.
Another good one is to get a library card. Our local library (living in the Netherlands) not only has books but they have a complete play area. We make appointments with my son’s friend’s about once a week to meet there and play (we even bike there to save on money which in turn is great for getting out and for our health).
Our local library also has a service set up where you can borrow toys for your children to play with. You pay a small amount to join as a member and the library as put the toys at the local schools so that they are getting good use while not being borrowed and not taking up a full room in the library…. I’m sure not all cities/towns have this but maybe it’s something to suggest to the library or schools near you?
Another one is for free ideas for things to do around the house or outdoors with the kids is to search on Pinterest. There are so many moms out there with boards filled with great, cheap and easy ideas!
We did the whole consumerism thing with our first born. I had never even heard of a resale shop (and of course all the research you do says you should NEVER buy used baby stuff, for safety). Our poor 2nd baby. He’s living a life of poverty. He has a hand-me-down crib & pack-and-play (previously owned by his big brother), a hand me down bouncer (previously owned by his cousin), many clothes, also previously owned by the cousin I mentioned before. He has a new swing, which I’ve already had to return and replace because the 1st one was defective (woo hoo, let’s hear it for the new stuff!!) and a new exersaucer, because my mom had recently given our old one to a friend who needed it for her child. We are using cloth diapers & wipes, and I love them. We, the adults, are trying not to purchase more than what we need for ourselves, as well. Home-style haircuts, making clothes last as long as we can, hopefully dropping cable in the next month or 2 (if our internet truly gets improved as much as the provider says it will), following a grocery budget, etc.
Well I think that you’ll end up spending more on the cloth nappies than you would if you continued with disposibles for the little time you will need them for until you potty train. I’ve used them, they are easy, but only really cost effective if you use them over a number of years and, preferrably, children. Once you have bought them, you can of course sell them on after, but you still have the initial outlay.
I used cloth throughout, alonside ‘elimination communication’. Washing costs were minimal, as I just put them in with my normal wash. As I had scoured the internet for bargains whilst pregnant, I actually resold many of my nappies for as much or more as I paid for them.
Also, by dressing my own Johnny in ‘fancy’ nappy, babylegs and top combo for the first 18 months of his life, I barely needed to buy actual clothes
Oh, and Paypal isn’t ‘real’ money. This is how I ‘justified’ pretty much everything – sell on Ebay, then but on Ebay, without ever handling actual cash!
All the best xxx
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I read All on this site a few weeks ago and since then I’ve been wondering about the free shoes thing, then the answer came to me in my post of all things, could you use points vouchers e.g. from supermarket reward schemes ( don’t want to put the names up ) you know what i mean collect points and get vouchers to spend in store. It’s not really spending money on the kids because it’s money you would be spending on food and things anyway the points are just a bonus, then use the vouchers for bits that you can’t get for free at the time. Also good to use for free days out, thats what I use them for I just do a bit of shopping at the store now and again and save the points untill the summer and swap them for days out vouchers.
I also saw the question about birthday presents, my son just had his ninth birthday and one of the mums made him a cake for a present he loved it, it was great because I didn’t have to worry about getting one and its homemade. I’m making a scarf for the mums daughter whos birthday is in about a week, already had the wool so it’s free. Why not offer to provide a party game as a present, or make food to take along, It would help the birthday kids parents too as it won’t cost them as much for the party, I know I’d like that
Re parties; that’s a BRiLLIANat idea! Thank you! That’s exactly what I’m going to do! Hx