It’s free, fools, and it’s an extremely powerful look (see above). So make bird watching your free activity this week.

[You try writing a ‘how to guide’ to bird watching and wait till the horrorful realisation hits you that it’s almost impossible not to sound like Pippa Middleton: ‘if you like birds and also enjoy watching, why not try birdwatching?’]

You will need:

Warm clothes

Some feet, some eyes, and an adventurer’s spirit.

Some birds. [True story: I once stood in Hackney City Farm and watched a bold little girl break away from a huddle of scared school friends, stomp towards a goose, point a chubby finger and shout: “Fuck. It’s a giraffe!” There’s a moral there. Get out among the winged creatures before it’s too late.]

Binoculars and a basic idea of how to use them (we’re working on this).